I was named after Tom Sellick.

I rode an elephant at the Philadelphia zoo.

I make amazing balsamic brussel sprouts.

I own a Bruce Dern action figure.

I drive a Chevy Cruze, nicknamed Tom's Cruze.

I don't believe in Snapchat as a publishing medium.

I know all the words to Hypnotize by The Notorious B.I.G.

I have personal beef with Designing Women's Jean Smart.

I was one of the top 4,000 players (of 1 million) in NBA 2K16.

I saw Paul Simon in (a very good) concert.

I was a fake litigant on a terribly produced fake TV Court show.

I once sang the Jurassic Park theme song with Jeff Goldblum.

I haven't met your mom, but trust me, she would LOVE me.